The Return of the Prodigal Son

Return of the Prodigal Son-Rembrandt

Both Robin and I have been reading some interesting spiritual books as we prepare for our upcoming pilgrimage from Le Puy en Velay to Santiago de Compostela next month. I still feel very connected to Thomas Merton, but of late I have become interested in the writings of  Henri Nouwen. Currently I am reading a book of his entitled, The Return of the Prodigal Son. While this is a very well known biblical parable Nouwen offers his readers a new and quite personal reflection on this story, and how it links to his own struggle to return to the Father "from a distant country." As I read this book I find myself examining my own struggles with the fragility of my faith, love of God, fleeing to a "distant country" and the subsequent long journey Home. What I have come to realize is that many of us are facing these same issues. We have lost track of God within us and have set out (left Home) to seek answers, and fulfillment in far away places. Perhaps His voice is just too faint to be heard over the noise of our daily lives. I know I frequently allow the commotion that attends my temporal pursuits to do that. It just seems I am conditioned to behave this way, despite the presence of a loving God in my life. But, the grace of the matter lies in the fact that God, like the father embracing his son in the painting, understands our flight, and patiently awaits our return as well.

So, Robin and I are off to the pilgrim road once again to embrace another part of our journey together. We will be leaving for France just after Easter, and plan to depart Le Puy on April 25th. We are ever thankful for the gift of each camino experience. They have always provided remarkable spiritual renewal and have positively shifted or displaced us from whatever misguided preconceptions we carried as excess baggage at the outset. We are eager to be underway again, and are hopeful that, as has happened in the past, sufficient moments of stillness and quietude will be found for us to hear the soft voice of the Father within us. Whenever we listen and respond to His voice, regardless of where we find ourselves, we find comfort that we are not lost; we are simply where we need to be.

Finally, less we should be lulled into thinking that the journey home to the Father is ever an easy quest, Henri Nouwen, an ordained priest, offers us, this reflection.

"It is the place within me where God has chosen to dwell. It is the place where I am held safe in the embrace of an all-loving Father who calls me by name and says, "You are my beloved son, on you my favor rests." It is the place where I can taste the joy and peace that are not of this world.

This place has always been there. I had always been aware of it as the source of grace. But I had not been able to enter it and truly live there. Jesus says, "Anyone who loves me will keep my word and my Father will love him, and we shall come to him and make our home in him."...

But it has aways been very hard to experience the truth of these words. Yes, God dwells in my innermost being, but how could I accept Jesus' call: "Make your home in me as I make mine in you"? The invitation is clear and unambiguous. To make my home where God had made his, this is the great spiritual challenge. It seemed an impossible task." 

The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen.

Peace be with you....

Shedding weight

On our previous two caminos Robin and I both have used Aarn, Peak Aspiration packs, (45L plus 12L in the pair of pouches). These are wonderful packs that fit and carry beautifully. The only downside is that with an all up weight of close to 5 pounds they are a bit overkill when your ideal base weight (everything carried minus consumables such as food, water, and fuel, if carried) hovers around 8-10 pounds. I never had a problem carrying the pack as our total pack weight was only around 18 pounds (maybe 20 if we carried more food than usual). The Aarn pack comes with waterproof liners in the main pack and in the balance pockets as well. The balance pockets replace the secondary bag that most people carry for sundry items. When one adds all that up, and factors in the comfort and convenience of the Aarn design, it is easy enough to accept the extra weight. However, I do admit that the extra pack weight would be easier to justify if the load carried was more in the 35-40 pound range, just as one could justify (and perhaps need) a heavier boot for a heavier load.

Walking the camino does not require a lot of stuff, even in the winter. Our next pilgrimage will be during the late spring and summer months, and will require even fewer things, or at least lighter versions of the same things (shirts, jackets, pants, sleeping bags etc.). As the overall carry weight weight deceases it becomes harder to justify a pack weight that represents 50 percent of your base weight. So, armed with this understanding, I started searching out other options. As I looked into ultralight equipment I happened upon a company called Zpacks (based in Florida). I did some research, and placed an order for a 45L version of their Arc Blast pack.

Arc Blast. 

This pack is constructed with ultra light Cuben fiber (waterproof and breathable) overlaid with polyester (for additional durability). The pack only weighs one pound. I also purchased 2 belt pouches, 2 side pouches and a chest pouch. The total weight comes to a very lean 21.3 ounces (1.33 pounds). This pack also comes with a carbon fiber external frame with a mesh back panel, that will be most welcomed in hot weather. There is a 3 week delivery wait. All packs are custom built, and zpacks seems willing to modify your specific pack anyway you want it. If this works the way I expect it to, I will place an order for Robin as well. This company sells a variety of other ultralight equipment as well (see link above). Robin and I have both used Altus ponchos for our winter walks. They were great in that environment. Now, as we face walking in much warmer weather the Altus, I fear, will be too hot. Zpacks to the rescue. The poncho shown below weighs 5.1 onces (the Altus weighs 16 ounces).

As I look at this poncho (which covers the pack as well), I am thinking that in the colder, earlier part of our camino, I could wear a lightweight jacket underneath to deal with the short sleeves. I will also wear lightweight gaiters, but there will still be a gap between the gaiters and the bottom of the poncho. So (now don't laugh) I think I am going with this option as well. Remember form follows function, so while from a fashion statement point of view this might be a stretch, but for ease of donning rain gear, and for comfort in hot weather this kilt seems perfect, and it only weighs 1.9 ounces.

So with this proposed rig I get the same rain protection for much less weight, more air flow, meaning more comfort, in hot weather, and more flexibility, but at a steep increase in price. Cuben fiber is quite expensive. Still, all in all, I am tempted to go for it. So, if you see someone walking around the gite/albergue, waiting for laundry to dry, wearing something akin to a short shower curtain, please say hello, it could very well be me.

I am still making adjustments to my packing list, but with the equipment above I feel I can get my base weight down to 10 pounds (a much lighter wallet will help drive that weight down as well).  I'll post more later once I am able to get out, and walk with this gear in the Pacific Northwest weather. Looks promising!  

An itch to be scratched

Le Puy en Velay

Robin and I have been casting about trying to decide where our next camino journey will take us. We have twice been down the Camino Frances in winter, and have enjoyed both of those pilgrimages immensely. However, one hitch has always been Robin's choir schedule. She sings with St. Mary's Cathedral Choir in Portland, and has been there for close to ten years. We have tried to accommodate her choir schedule by nestling our caminos in between Christmas and Easter. Having said that, on our first pilgrimage, we did spend Christmas on the camino. This coming year Robin would like to sing straight through Easter Sunday. So, for the moment, our plan is to leave for Europe a couple of days after Easter, and head to Le Puy en Velay. We have conjured up an itinerary that has great appeal as it will take us through both France and Spain with lots of varied terrain, beautiful scenery, and will lead us back to Santiago. The route we are planning will take us from Le Puy to St. Jean Pied de Port, then via the GR 10 hiking trail to Irun where we will walk the Camino Norte until it intersects with the Camino Primitivo which we will then follow to the Camino Frances, then on to Santiago. This is, for us, an ambitious undertaking. The main concern, at the moment, is adapting to walking in hot weather. Robin definitely prefers cool weather to hot weather. In truth I do as well, but I know I can walk in warmer (even hot) weather. Robin is less sure. We will be leaving Le Puy late in April so that bit is okay. We will be walking the Norte, and Primitivo in June, and July. Our hope is that both of those routes will be a bit cooler due to proximity to the coast, and the higher elevations of the mountain passes. We will see. All pilgrimages have challenges to be embraced. I feel certain this one will be no different. The month of May on the Le Puy route will certainly be crowded (this will be new to us). The Norte and Primitivo routes are gaining popularity so there might be more pilgrims there as well. The heat, the rain, the cold (in the early days), even the crowds are all things that can lead to one of those "why am I doing this" moments. We all have them at some point in a pilgrimage. The trick is to acknowledge them for just what they are, then offer up a tip of the hat, and move on. Easier said then done? Of course, but still doable. That is the practice (learning to follow your heart, not your ego) of being on pilgrimage. 

The restless heart

It is now six months since returning from the Camino, and our pilgrim spirits are still in full bloom. I was doing some reading this morning and was struggling to pay attention to the text. My mind was cycling back and forth from the book to the Camino. This then got me thinking about restlessness and yearning. Curiously, the book I was reading was about Catholic spirituality, and the section I was trying to focus on was explaining that the Spirit within us is always restless until the journey Home is complete. Many confuse this restlessness of heart with a general feeling of emptiness that they try to fill in the only way familiar to them, self indulgence. These superficial solutions always leave us worse off as we fail to understand, and properly respond to, what our hearts are truly crying out for. Our trips to the Camino have been motivated by a call of faith. This has not been a trumpet blast, but rather a more subtle sense of being lovingly guided. We choose to place ourselves on pilgrim roads to strengthen, and practice not only our faith, but also our humility. The journey's recompense is, hopefully, found in the incremental increase of love, wisdom, and courage sufficient for the journey Home. The restlessness Robin and I sense is the urgency to be closer to God, not just in thought or word but, more importantly, in deed. Walking pilgrim roads, in our experience, helps a great deal in this regard. It is simply where we feel we need to be, and want to be. BTW it is also a lot of fun.

Coincidentally, (but perhaps not) a hymn (Healing River of the Spirit) that was sung at mass this morning included (in part) these timely words.

Weary from the restless searching that has lured us from your side, we discover in your presence peace the world cannot provide.

All the world is torn by conflict; wars are raging at this hour. Saving Spirit move among us, guide our winding human course, till we find our way together, flowing homeward to our Source.

Finding our peace lies in finding the path to the inner door of our heart. In that interior silence we can awaken to a sacred space that enables us to hear the voice guiding us home to our Source. We just have to learn to listen. That is the hard part and, yes, it takes practice.

Peace, love, and buen camino,

John and Robin

A good start to the day

I have always loved Willie Nelson's voice, and his music. This morning, over coffee, I found myself browsing music videos and came across some I really liked, so here they are. Enjoy!

St. James The Pilgrim

Today we brought home an icon we commissioned with Mary Katsilometes, a Portland (Oregon) based iconographer. Mary has been working for years on several very large panels for a local Catholic church (Resurrection Parish), and her work caught our eye. Her work is breathtaking both in quality and in scale. We contacted her, and she kindly agreed to make time for St. James. We quickly reached an agreement, and set the process in motion. Today, some two months (or so) later we dropped by Mary's house/studio and picked up St. James. He is beautiful. Icons are to be blessed, and then are worthy of veneration. We will pursue this process with St. Mary's Cathedral in Portland. For now Robin and I feel blessed to have St. James under our roof. We have ongoing camino plans and as expected St. James will be asked to guide and protect us on our future journeys. St. James, pray for us, and for all pilgrims.

Winter Camino 2013 Slideshow

Robin finished this slideshow last night. It covers our walk down the Camino Frances, to Finisterre and Muxia, and the Camino Ingles. We started walking on Dec 31, 2012 and finished on Feb 18, 2013.

Enjoy the show.